


An Alchemist’s Labyrinth

by HappyMadFace



Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Attempt at Humor, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hugs, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, Varian Needs a Hug (Disney), please someone help him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:27:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24282061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HappyMadFace/pseuds/HappyMadFace
Summary: Varian’s hope in freeing his father from the amber is slowly depleting. It has been months since the events of “Queen for a Day” and still no one has come to check on him. Will the alchemist let his inner demons consume him, or will he let Rapunzel and her friends help?
Relationships: Cassandra/Varian (Disney: Tangled), Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider & Varian, Rapunzel & Varian (Disney), Ruddiger & Varian (Disney)
Comments: 42
Kudos: 164





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note! This story takes place in a timeline following the events of “Queen for a Day.” Varian has not sent Rapunzel and Co. to get the scroll at this point in time.
> 
> Now that that’s out of the way... enjoy!!! :D
> 
> (I have no idea why it says this is a one shot. Trust me, there are more chapters to be posted. I’ll figure out how to correct it somehow don’t worry uh-)
> 
> (Frick I fixed it wnwnen-)

It had been a little more than two months since the storm. The storm that ruined his  _ life.  _ Ever since the storm Varian’s been working day in and day out to find a way to break his father free from the amber, to no avail. Yes it can be frustrating to see everything you know and trust fly out the window, but hey, Varian wasn’t one known to quit, was he?

**…**

Varian violently crumpled up yet another failed attempt and chucked it behind him. He muttered out profanities while tugging on his hair in a silent panic.  _ Ok, another failure. How many does that make? _ He skims his desk to find a paper filled to the brim with tally marks.  _ Oh, ninety nine, Of course. _

He shoves the paper back onto the desk and sighs, slipping down the wall of his lab to the floor. His  _ lab.  _ He hated this room. Once his most cherished and welcoming sanctuary was now turning into a small level of hell. It feels like he’s been in this room forever. But he  _ has  _ to stay here, right? If his Dad’s imprisoned here, it’s only fair that he be imprisoned here too. 

Varian finds it funny how no ones come to check on them more. Yes, of course the people of Old Corona asked about Quirin, but Varian just told them he was on a trip and wouldn’t be back for awhile. They bought it. Now he’s just worried they might come back to inquire again. Then what will he say? What will he  _ do? _

Ruddiger scurried by the boy's feet with worry. He cautiously watched him to make sure he wasn’t in one of his ‘moods’, before settling comfortably on his lap. 

The raccoon must have noticed his odd behavior, for he would often bring fruits or small dead things in hopes the boy would eat them and not completely starve himself. Wait… when was the last time he’d eaten? Drank? Slept? Showered? God damn, he probably looked like the bottom of a shoe right now.

He leaned his head on the back of the wall in a lax manner speaking quietly, “I really don’t know how much longer I can keep this up.” He stroked the raccoon's head. “I really don’t think I can bring him  _ back. _ ” his voice cracked and he tried to refrain himself from crying, though he could feel the fresh tears already making their way down his cheeks.

Ruddiger snuggled closer to the boy's stomach, hoping to warm him up in the cold damp lab. 

Varian sobbed quietly to himself, “I did this. I’ve killed my own father!”

Varian brang a gloved hands up to wipe the new-found tears away. How long  _ can  _ he live like this? Without his Dad, all alone, never going out. Heck, Rapunzel never even came to check on him after the storm!

He clenched his fist. 

Whatever… it’s just whatever! He couldn’t face her now even if he wanted to! Everyone thinks he attacked her! Stupid Nigel…

Varian sat still on the cold ground. He desperately wiped at his tears with his thumb.

If he couldn’t bring his Dad back then no one would care about him! Heck, he doesn’t even have any friends his age. The only people he could even remotely call friends would be Repuzel, Eugene, and Cass. Though, most recent events beg to differ.  _ None  _ of them have come to help him; or even check on him! It’s been  _ months guys,  _ **_come on._ ** Then again, would anyone really waste their time of some stupid fourteen year old?  _ Probably not. _

Varian carefully lifted Ruddiger off of him and into a makeshift bed he had built for him awhile back. He then waltzed back to his desk and gripped the edges as if they would give him the answers he needed. 

His eyes skimmed his infinite jots of notes and ideas for a while, and then he stopped.

He glanced over at an old paper that scribbled ingredients for another one of his stupid concoctions.  _ The very same concoction that trapped his dad all those months ago. _

So,,, what would happen if he were to drink that concoction?

Varian nervously tapped his fingers on the desk trying to suppress his new dark thoughts.

He didn’t think it would hurt much. The chemicals in the formula only react to black rocks anyway. That would mean the amber wouldn’t grow  _ inside  _ him. Nonetheless, the chemical mixture would most likely be toxic to him. He would  _ die… _

Varian bit his lip and pushed a hand through his hair. 

He wondered what the mixture would do to his organs, to his blood, to him in general. Would it be quick? Would it be slow?  _ Would it be painful? _ Whatever it would be he deserved it anyways. 

How would that end sound? ‘His Last Big Failure!’ And not just any last failure… his one hundredth, of course!

Varian knew this thought process was wrong, but he just couldn’t help himself to become a little giddy. 

He glanced over the ingredients listed on the page.  _ Damn!  _ He didn’t have over  _ half  _ of these ingredients… that would mean he was forced to take a trip through the kingdom. And not just anywhere  _ in  _ the kingdom, but the  _ heart of Corona _ . Only the shops there could give him what he needed. But there he had an even  _ higher  _ chance of running into Rapunzel or Eugene.

He scoffed to himself under his breath. Time to try and look less like he just got run over.

…

“Wowie! I don’t think anything’s ever been this good Cass!” Rapunzel beamed dogging cracks in the pavement by hopping and skipping over them.

Cassandra smiled at her childish nature.“It really has been, huh Raps,” she agreed.

Rapunzel seized hopping and ran to catch up to Cass’ walking speed, “I just… I don’t know. These past couple months have been so calm and peaceful. I haven’t even heard that many reports on the black rocks!”

Cassandra nodded and smiled warmly at the reminder.

“I just… feel like I’m forgetting something…”

As the two neared the castle’s entrance, Cass shook her head, “I wouldn’t think about it too hard Raps. Like you said, the rocks have been taken care of for now and everyone’s rooting for ya. I can’t think of anything we may have left out.”

Rapunzel shook her head, “No! I know I’m forgetting something. These past few months have been  _ way  _ too easy on us. Maybe Eugene knows…”

Cassandra crosses her arms, “Yup, sure, ok, if it bothers you  _ that  _ much.”

The pair entered the castle with grace, relaxing in the shelter the castle provided from the sun. Rapunzel then went to begin her search for Eugene with Cassandra at her side. It didn’t take long for her to find him fooling around with Lance in the kitchen.

They had just caught them in the middle of a food fight. Rapunzel did a dance over to Eugene and leaned on his shoulder. “Hey, so do you ever feel like you’re forgetting something?”

Eugene faces the blonde in a panic, “why, what’d I do?!”

She giggled, “No, you didn’t do anything. You see, I’m having a bit of a remembering problem and I need your help.”

“Uhh… ok? I don’t really know how I’m supposed to help with that but ok!”

“Great! So… what would I be forgetting in the past few months?” She said, taking a bite of an apple she picked off the counter.

“Varian kid?”

Rapunzel choked on the apple, coughing and spitting hoping to hack it back up her windpipe. “ **_What?”_ **

Eugene flinched at the sudden response and scratched the nape of his neck nervously, “Well, y’know… Cassandra told me he came in in a rush while me and the guys were gone…”

This information quickly got Cassandra’s interest because she quickly had the collar of the man’s shirt in her hand and a fist raised ready to punch. “You REMEMBERED that?! Why didn’t you remind us?”

Eugene pushed her off of him and brushed himself off. “Well  _ obviously  _ I thought you guys had that covered!”

The two bickered more as Rapunzel continued to cough up bits of apple logged in her windpipe. Lance eventually came out of his make-shift table fort and put down the food he’d been holding, “So… did I win?”

The chaos continued for a moment, before he got bored and promptly left the kitchen.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the second chapter as promised! Thanks for the support by the way, it really keeps me motivated, haha

Rapunzel sucked in a pained breath, “I  _ can’t  _ believe I left an actual  _ child  _ stranded in the middle of a snowstorm and then forgot he existed.”

After the absolute  _ chaos  _ in the kitchen, Rapunzel, Eugene, and Cassandra all decided to take a deep breath for a second. They all hurried out of the kitchen before the chef could get back and sat in Rapunzel’s room.

Cassandra held her shoulders a bit in comfort. “It’s ok Raps, it was for the good of the kingdom anyway.”

“That doesn’t mean I have the right to forget about him, that’s not what friends do!” She shook off Cassandra’s touch and cupped her face in her hands. He was just a  _ kid.  _ She hasn’t seen him in forever. Was he ok? He sounded pretty desperate last time she’d seen him, especially if he was willing to come all the way here in the middle of a snowstorm  _ on foot. _

Eugene was the next one to appear by her side. He put a hand on her shoulder and spoke with soft words, “It’s ok Blondie, we’ll make sure he’s ok. For now though, can you remember what he asked you for in the storm?”

Rapunzel racked her brain for answers, “I don’t really remember, but I know he said something about his Dad and that he needed help.” She sighed, staring out the window of her room to the kingdom that laid below. 

Eugene and Cass gave her a quick hug before separating. “We’ll check on him, Raps. Varian’s a smart kid. He’s probably been holding up fine.”

Rapunzel smiled a small smile, “Thanks guys, you really are the best.”

“The earliest we can leave today would be in about an hour, so get everything you need and we’ll be on our way!” Eugene smiled doing a little fist bump in the air.

“Sounds great!”

….

Varian crept about cautiously in Corona. He had a pretty fancy cloak on to hopefully hide who he was without looking too suspicious. Well, as inconspicuous as you can get in a cloak three times your size. 

He rounded an alleyway and sighed to himself taking a look through the small basket he had with him to carry the ingredients. He dug through them until he found the stupid paper somewhere…

Aha!

He pulled it out and looked it over once again. Great! He only needed to go to one more shop and then this horrible nightmare could be over!

He looked out of the alleyway and saw the desired shop across the crowded main plaza.  _ Oof… ok, this will probably be fine… _

He took a steady breath before tugging the cloak over his face again and stepping out into the open. 

He basically ran through the mob of people. In fact, he was so trained on getting past the crowd that he had forgotten to look where he was going.

He felt himself collide with another being sending his ingredients land below his feet. He instantly leaped to pick them up before sputtering out apologies, “Oh geez… I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, I-“

“Varian?”

Varian recognized the voice but was still a little weary to meet their eyes. After all, he hasn’t spoken to another person in awhile to say the least.

Varian saw Eugene crouch in front of him to help him collect his things, but he couldn’t say or do anything. He was frozen.

Eugene broke his shock with another string of words, “You know, this is such a coincidence. We were just about to check on you.”

_ He’s lying.  _ Varian crouched, still frozen for a moment, before letting out a forced laugh, “Oh?”

“Yeah! We just wanted to see if you were doing ok.”

_ Yeah, two months after the initial incident,  _ Varian scoffed to himself.

The boy watched nervously as Eugene picked up a bottle and read the label to himself, “Interesting, you’re still into your little science thingy?”

All Varian could do was nod quietly.

After picking up the remaining ingredients, the pair stood.

Eugene spoke up again, “I don’t understand why you’re wearing  _ that  _ though,” he gestured to the cloak, “it’s like a hundred degrees out, and it  _ kinda  _ looks a  _ wee  _ bit suspicious?”

Varian tried to get out a laugh again but ultimately failed still keeping his eyes on his feet “I- I yeah. Well I was… I think.. you see-“

As the alchemist stumbled over his words, Eugene analyzed the boy. He was certainly thinner and paler. He looked like he could barely stand and would fall if the slightest bit of force was applied. Eugene couldn’t get a good glimpse at the boy’s face, but what little he could see once in a while was a hollow expression and some bags under his eyes. This thing may sound like Varian, but it was  _ not  _ the Varian he knew.

“S-so, that’s why I’m in Corona.” The boy finally finished awkwardly. 

Eugene snapped out of his thoughts. “Oh, well that makes sense!” He exclaimed not having heard anything he said. “I was helping Cassandra and Rapunzel get a carriage set up. Like I said, we were just coming to see you.” He desperately waited for the boy to speak.

“O-oh! Well that’s very nice of you guys but as you can see I’m just fine. Tell them you saw me and say that they don’t have to visit anymore,” Varian exclaimed inching away from the man.

Eugene furrowed his eyebrows, “Aw, really Varian I insist. We’ll even give you a ride there!”

“No rea-really, I don’t really-“

“Don’t you want to see Cassandra and Rapunzel? I know that they’ve been dying to hear from you,” he pushed.

Varian’s heart stopped. Shoot, Rapunzel will be here soon. He’d better get that final ingredient and get out real fast-

Varian sputtered out a quick, “No thank you, Eugene,” before fleeing from the conversation.

Eugene was left standing in the crowded town baffled by the quick exit. He narrowed his eyes in thought before turning to get back to tending to the carriage.

…

“Woah, wait,  _ what _ happened?!”

Rapunzel was in her room pacing back and forth while Eugene sat cross-armed on the bed. 

“I told you what,” Eugene explained, “I saw the kid like twenty minutes ago. He looked pretty beat up though…”

Rapunzel ran her fingers down her face in both aggravation and worry. She took a moment to collect herself before turning to the man once again. “Anything else?”

“ _ Well,  _ I think he made it clear to me that he didn’t want us coming to his house,” Eugene said eying the maiden.

“Why?”

All he could do was shrug.

Rapunzel let out a sigh and tapped her foot on the ground in a rhythmic pattern. She thought for a moment, “Well… this is good.” 

“Good? How?”

Rapunzel smiled to herself, getting back into her optimistic self. “It  _ means  _ he’s alive! Maybe not  _ well, _ but alive!”

Eugene felt his eyebrows knife together, “This still doesn’t explain what you’re planning. The kid…  _ may _ be going through something’s, sure, but who are we to judge? He’s probably working through them fine on his own.”

Rapunzel met his eyes with a determined stare, “You should know by now that I don’t leave friends to suffer alone. I’m going to get on that carriage and give Varian the biggest hug in the seven kingdoms!” She exclaims holding her arms out in the air in a dramatic gesture.

Eugene stares for a moment before letting out a low chuckle, “You’re probably right, Sunshine. If you want to go make it up to that kid, I’ll be with you the whole way.”

She hastily Waltzes over to Eugene and embraces him in a tight hug. “Thank you she murmured,” she murmured.

“Anytime blonde,” he responded warmly, returning the embrace.

The two separate when Cassandra knocks on the door only to open it afterwards. She gives them a playful look, “Ok Lovebirds, carriage is ready.”

The two share a smile before following Cass down to the courtyard.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Expect another update on Tuesday! This is the first time I’m actually following an update schedule, so it’s definitely a learning Experience for me 😛


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I decided to post this chapter a bit earlier because of Memorial Day and all that craziness. I posted this just in case I don’t have time to post on Tuesday :)

Ok, so the whole ‘being sneaky in Corona’ thing didn’t work out as he’d planned... Whatever, that’s ok, this is fine. All he needed to do now was make this stupid concoction.

Varian poured out all the newly acquired ingredients from his bag as well as pulling out old ones from drawers in his lab. He did a quick checklist before confirming to himself that everything he needed was in fact there. 

He quickly started to set up tubes and beakers around the lab in preparation for his upcoming ‘final failure!’ God, this was stupid. Did he really have to go out with a bang? A noose would do the same job. Why did he have to be so complicated?!

Varian pushed aside the self-deprivation for later. Right now he found himself coming back to his little run in with Eugene. 

If Varian knew Rapunzel and her little gang as well as he did, he just  _ knows  _ they’re going to follow him. They just don’t understand the word  _ no.  _ Anyways, he should be expecting them to be coming anytime from now until dusk. Either way he was dreading it.

_ It’s fine, just convince her everything’s good here and you’ll be free. _

He paused, taking in a shaky breath.  _ Bring it on. _

…

The gang strolled down the old run-down path to Old Corona. Rapunzel always loved riding down these parts because of the heavy contrast it had from the kingdom. 

The kingdom was always so busy and awake, while the forest was calm and peaceful. Not that she didn’t like the hustle-and-bustle, it just got tiring at times.

The blonde took in a breath of fresh air before relaxing into her seat in the carriage once again, “I hope I can make it up to him.”

Cass crossed her arms, “I’m sure everything’ll work out Raps. Just try not to be too overbearing.”

“Pfft! I’m not overbearing! I just want people to be happy when I want them to be.”

“Mhm,” Cass said sarcastically.

Eugene places his hand on Rapunzel’s shoulder. “Just don’t get under his skin too much,” he jokes.

She playfully punches his shoulder as the carriage slowly approaches Old Corona.

…

Varian stuck his tongue out of the corner of his mouth, narrowing his eyes. He needed to get the perfect amount of this chemical. Not too much… not too little…  _ just ri _ **_ghhhhhht-_ ** !

**KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK**

Varian quickly reacted to the fatal falling liquid by putting out his hand to stop it from getting into the mixture. He quickly regretted that choice when he felt the mixture go through a portion of his gloves with ease. 

He bit his lip trying to contain a scream as he got up to look out the window. 

_ Shoot! It was the princess- _

**KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK**

Varian quickly grabbed a spare sheet nearby and threw it over the amber that imprisoned his father. He then ran out of his lab and threw open the door.

Rapunzel was standing mid-knock when Varian finally answered. He looked a mess. Apart from the thinness and obvious lack of sleep, his goggles were crooked on his head and his apron hung in an awkward manner. He must have caught on, because he quickly tried to brush himself off and look presentable. 

Everyone stood a second too long before Rapunzel walked forward and gave Varian a hug. “Hi Varian.”

The embrace caught him by surprise and he quickly felt uncomfortable. It had been awhile since he’d had physical comfort, ok?! He waited for Rapunzel to end the weird gesture. “Hi, princess.”

Eugene eventually spoke up, “Ok, so are you going to invite us in or no?” That earned him a hard elbow in the stomach from Cassandra.

Embarrassment flooded to Varian’s face, “Oh yeah, of course!” He stood out of the crew’s way before closing the door behind them.

They all trekked to the cramped kitchen and each took a chair around the mahogany table.

“So where have you been, kid? I started to think you kicked the bucket or something,” she joked settling down in the chair.

He tried to pin a believable expression on his face, “Haha, yeah. I’ve just been… around?”

Cassandra narrowed her eyes at the response, “ _ Right.” _

The boy shrank in his seat. “So… why are you guys here again?”

Rapunzel sighed, leaning her elbows on the table. “Varian,” she started, “I am  _ so  _ sorry. Really, I didn’t  _ want  _ to break our promise, I just had t-“

“Pffft, ha! No, please don’t explain yourself. I’m sure there was a  _ perfectly  _ good reason you threw me into the snow and then forgot I existed for two months,” he said darkly.

Eyes fluttered to look at the boy’s newfound hostility.

“Varian-“ she tried again.

“No! It’s fine… it’ll all be fine with time...” he seemed to reassure himself. His eyes fell downcast to the wood of the table. “It’s…  _ fine _ Rapunzel. I forgive you,” he replied through gritted teeth.

“H-“

“It’s fine, Rapunzel.”

The group sat in an uncomfortable silence before Eugene suddenly stood up, “Whew! This is… wow. Anyway, I want some grub. Got anything to eat?” He said wandering towards the cabinets.

“Uh, maybe?” Varian responded, scratching the nape of his neck.

Eugene let out an audible gasp as he explored around the hollow cupboards, “There’s hardly anything in here!” 

Rapunzel got up to take a closer look, “You’re right! Varian, what have you been eating?!” 

“Uhm- Food of course? Haha… that was a joke.”

She stood turned to face him with her hands on her hips, “Well, where’s your Dad?”

“HUNTING TRIP.” Varian shouted a bit too loud. He sunk back into his seat.

Eugene spoke up for Rapunzel, “Didn’t he leave you anything?”

_ Oh God the concern… He can’t take this kind of concern right now!! _

He took in a breath, “He left some stuff in the cellar. Don’t wo-worry about it.”

They nodded. Cassandra spoke next, “And you’re ok?”

“Yes.”

Cassandra’s eyebrows knitted together. “I dunno, you seem way quieter  _ Varian _ .”

_ Alarm bells _

“Heh… maybe I’m finally coming to my senses and growing up,” He muttered out awkwardly.

The woman knew a lie when she heard it. She was catching on fast and Varian really didn’t know what else to do. He tapped his foot anxiously waiting for what she would say next. To his surprise, she kept her mouth closed for the time being.

They all shared a moment of silence before Ruddiger jumped off his spot on the couch and climbed up the table to Varian.

Rapunzel looked at the boy for a long time before speaking, “Are you sure there’s nothing we can do to help…?”

Rapunzel stared at the boy silently pleading for him to take this new found guilt away from her. His glassy eyes and expressionless face. He looked so  _ tired _ . Where was the bright kid she once knew? 

Varian looked at her with dead eyes, “Not anymore.” 

_ Silence. _

…

“That went horribly!” Rapunzel exclaimed cupping her face in her hands. 

The group had finally made it back to the castle after their ‘check in’ with Varian. They all currently resided in Rapunzel’s room. Eugene leaning idly against a wall, while Cass sat atop the mattress.

“Oh, come on Blonde! It could have gone worse. I think that turn-out was  _ fine.” _

__ Rapunzel sighed, “Oh come on Eugene! Didn’t you see his face? He hates me.”

Eugene quickly got up to comfort the girl, “Aw no, he doesn’t hate you Sunshine! He was probably just…”

“ _ Planning something evil,”  _ Cassandra suddenly spat out. “Raps, you  _ saw _ how peeved off he was about you leaving him that day. Not to mention he’s obviously still pissed about it. How do we know he’s not going to try and get back at you?!”

Rapunzel’s eyes widened, “I… I trust him not to do that. At least I think I do…”

“Yeah? Well I don’t,” Cassandra crossed her arms.

The blonde shook her head at her friends protectiveness and wandered over to the large window of her room now showing the full moon. “Maybe I’m not trying hard enough. I need to  _ show  _ him I’m sorry… OH! I’ll make him a muffin basket!”

“A muffin basket?” Eugene and Cassandra said in a sarcastic tone.

“Yeah! Y’know, a basket with the muffins inside!”

“Yeah yeah we kn-“

“I’ll give it to him tomorrow and he’ll be like ‘oh my gosh princess I am  _ so  _ very happy to receive this gift and totally forgive you now.’” Rapunzel stated doing a very poor Varian impersonation. “It’ll be perfect!”

Cassandra rolled her eyes, “Listen Raps if you want to make a muffin basket for a potential threat be my guest, but just know that I’m going to be keeping a  _ close  _ eye on him from now on.”

“Whatever you say, Cass!” Rapunzel replied, bouncing with excitement.

Cass gave another eye roll but couldn’t help but smile at the girl's optimism.

Eugene held his head, “ _ Wait.  _ So you’re doing the same thing we did  _ today,  _ but with a  _ muffin basket?” _

__ Rapunzel nodded.

“Alrighty.”

…

“It’s all coming together perfectly!” Varian spoke aloud to himself. He smiled to himself like it was some big achievement before turning around to find Ruddiger sitting a few feet away from him on the ground in confusion. The boys mood had been strange for the past few months but now he was almost acting up to par with his old self. He was immersed in his alchemy (but not the type of unhealthy immersation Ruddiger had witnessed in the past) it was utterly confusing to the raccoon.

Varian thought for a few moments before taking a hesitant few steps towards the raccoon and kneeling down. “Hey buddy, I thought I told you to stay out of the lab for a little bit.”

The raccoon didn’t understand, moving himself closer to the boy and sitting down by his leg.

“I just, I feel like this is kinda private. It would be morally incorrect to let you help with this one, y’know?”

Ruddiger stared up at the boy with unknowing eyes, then suddenly started climbing the boy's clothes up to his shoulder. 

Varian rolled his eyes, “Oh come on.”

The boy made his way towards the door of the lab. He then carefully removed the raccoon from its perch on himself and placed him onto the wooden floor boards.

Ruddiger looked back at the boy in curiosity. He pressed his head into his hand demanding attention. Varian complied, stroking the animal’s back in a calming way.

Varian sighed, leaning his head on the hallway wall behind him, “I want you to know that things are going to be changing soon.”

Ruddiger stayed quiet, eyes drooping with newfound tiredness.

“I just- I can’t go on any longer. Without my Dad, without any real friends, I can’t live like that the rest of my life.”

Ruddiger nuzzled his head into the boys hand. Varian smiles.

“You have to be the best friend I’ve ever made, Ruddiger. To think I though you were a pest all those moons ago!” He paused. “Now I wish I hadn’t met you at all, because now I’m going to have to say goodbye.”

Varian could feel newfound tears suddenly appear rolling down his cheeks. Ruddiger quickly noticed the usual odd body spasms and made his way up to the boy's stomach, pawing at his chest.

“Should I even leave a note? God Ruddiger, I’m just so afraid…” 

Varian quickly scooped Ruddiger into a hug and cried into his pelt. Ruddiger didn't really mind, he was just more confused than ever now.

After a good cry, Varian wiped his eyes and stood up from the ground. He had work to do. He waved a silent goodbye and sorry to Ruddiger before giving him a treat and closing the lab door. He sighed, heading back to the chemicals. 

_ That’s it,  _ he decided,  _ this is too hard. I can’t push this off any further. After tomorrow, It should be ready. I’m doing it, no going back.  _

And with that he got back to work.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty, so this chapter was 2,000 words! I was thinking of making these separate, but I ended up combining them. Hope y’all stay tuned! :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Literally just the last chapter but closer to the climax of the story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I combined two really short chapters I made into this one giant one so I’m sorry if the flow’s a little weird here (y’know with the day skip and all that). I’m really really really sorry for that!!!
> 
> -I feel so unprofessional here aughhh!-

**Knock Knock**

“Helllllooooo? Varian~?” Rapunzel chirped from outside the alchemist’s home. 

It was the morning after the convention from yesterday and it was shaping up to be another great day in the kingdom. The morning sunlight sent golden sparks across the ground, and the morning dew tickled the princess' feet.

She knocked again.

Suddenly the door swung open revealing a slightly peeved and very tired looking Varian. He desperately tried to contain a yawn and rubbed the bags from his eyes. 

The princess winced at the sight of him. “Varian, did you sleep at all last night?”

He seemed taken aback at the comment and his face quickly contorted into a scowl, “That’s none of your concern. Anyway, why are you at my house? Again?”

“Well…” she suddenly revealed the large muffin basket, “I brought this for you. I was hoping we could chat one on one…?”

Varian sighed, “That’s really nice of you Rapunzel, but I already told you that everything’s fine here. We don’t need to talk about anything else-“

The blonde looked up at him with pleading eyes, “ _ Please _ Varian?”

“Ugh…” He thought for a bit before moving to the side and muttering a sarcastic, “come right in.”

Rapunzel stepped into the small home looking around, “Quirin’s still out?”

Varian avoided the princess’ eyes as he made his way to the kitchen. “He’ll be out for  _ awhile,”  _ Varian stated, trying not to let his voice crack.

They took their seats at the small table across from each other. “So, let me guess, you need something?”

The princess was caught off guard, “what?”

“Oh  _ please _ , no one would come to ‘check in’ on some stupid teenager. You probably need me to build something, right?”

Rapunzel desperately shook her head, “Nonono, Varian I don’t want anything from you. We just genuinely wanted to see if you were ok yesterday.”

_ Liar.  _ “Yeah, ok.” He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms.

The blonde was quick to find another topic, “ _ Anyway… _ I didn’t know what kind of muffin you liked so I just made one of each kind.”

Varian narrowed his eyes.

“I have a lot of free time, ok?!”

Varian stayed quiet, picking at the fabric of his gloves.  _ Would this be the last conversation he’d have with Rapunzel? Muffins? Really? It’s kind of fitting though… a useless conversation for a useless person. _

__ Rapunzel cleared her throat, “I just have some concerns…”

“Of course you do,” Varian replied, rolling his eyes.

“I’m just, y’know, concerned for you. You look kind of…” she made an awkward hand gesture, “not good.”

“You just gestured to all of me.”

She tapped her finger on the table, “I just… y’know… do you know when your Dad’s going to be back?”

He bit at his lip, “like I said, he’ll be go-gone for  _ awhile.  _ Just, a  _ really long time _ , ok? But I’m holding up just fine.”

Rapunzel made an unsure noise with her lip and put a hand on her hip. “Mmm… I dunno Varian… maybe you should come with me. I’m sure I could get you a spare room in the castle-“

“No!” Varian exclaimed in a panic, “No, I like it here. I’m fine here,  _ really.” _

__ The princess bit her lip, “Ok… but if you ever need anything,  _ please  _ let me know. Hey, wait! We should chat like this every morning. Wouldn’t that be fun?” She clapped her hands together.

Varian let out an exasperated sigh.

__ Rapunzel squealed, “Oh my gosh! We can have tea and little finger sandwiches and everything! It’ll be so cute!”

She stood up quickly, “Yes! That’s what we’ll do. I’ll come back here tomorrow and bring a bunch of snacks! I can’t really come at this same time tomorrow because of Lance’s karaoke performance… but I can maybe show up late afternoon?”

“sounds  _ great…”  _ Varian laughed out sarcastically.

She motioned towards the door doing a little spin. “Great! I’ll be back here tomorrow. Don’t forget it!” And with that she left.

Varian let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. You know, what? This could still work. He can leave before she even gets here tomorrow. Honestly, if he had to go through one more conversation with Rapunzel he was going to lose it.

… **_Next Day_ ** …

“I did it. It’s finally done.” Varian breathed out in a solemn tone. He eyed the now glowing beaker in front of him with caution. What was he supposed to feel? Accomplishment? Fear? Excitement? 

He brushed a hand through his hair. Now what? Should he just drink it right now? No- he’s forgetting something…

The boy raked his brain for an answer. He turned on his heel to hopefully clear up his brain’s confusion when suddenly it all came back to him.

Sitting on the floor in front of him sat Ruddiger looking up at him with big eyes.

“God, not again,” Varian said aloud to himself. He held his face in his hands trying to come up with what to do. He finally kneeled down in front of the raccoon. “You’re not going to get out, are you?”

The raccoon plants his feet down in a stubborn manner.

Varian gripped his temple in annoyance, “ _ Fine.”  _ The forest is just as great as a lab, right? Sure, no one would find his body and feel the guilt they deserve, (COUGH Rapunzel COUGH Eugene COUGH Cass) but at least he’d finally be free. Whatever. He didn’t come this far to quit. He’s  _ not  _ a quitter.

Varian stood up with an emotionless expression and went to put on a cloak to hopefully mask his identity from the annoyingly inquisitive townspeople. Ruddiger seemed to follow his every step. 

He made it back to his desk and put a cork through the top of the deadly mixture. He then put it into one of the pockets. He soon found himself wandering out of the lab and to the front door. Ruddiger seemed to catch on and quickly leaped in front of his human.

Varian rolled his eyes and desperately tried to get around the pest. He failed and put his arms out, “Come ON-“

The raccoon seemed to growl at the boy's request. Which was surprising because Ruddiger has never made any sound like that  _ ever. _

“Ruddiger I need to get through, what’s with this sudden stupid intervention?!” Varian hissed.

The raccoon planted its feet down again, growling.

“Stop it-“ Varian said managing to hop over the beast only to find the creature biting at the end of his pant leg and trying to pull him back. It was like some sick game of tug-of-war.

After some moments of useless struggle Varian had enough. He suddenly stomped his leg causing a loud bang and the raccoon to pause. “ **ENOUGH.”**

The two were frozen for a long time. Ruddiger looked desperately up at the boy's eyes while Varian breathed silently to himself trying to calm down. Time had slowed down. 

Finally coming back to the situation, Varian sighed. He looked down at Ruddiger in defeat and guilt.

“I’m sorry buddy; I really am.” He murmured out barely audible.

The raccoon hesitantly came closer to the boy, sitting at his feet.

The alchemist suddenly kneeled down and hugged the raccoon. “This is a goodbye. But not my last. I’ll see you later...ok?”

Varian put the raccoon down and opened a nearby window hoping Ruddiger would eventually just jump out of the house like usual when he realizes Varian will never return.

Varian hesitantly put his hand on the door knob. He looked back at the still-confused raccoon on the hardwood floor.

“I love you.”

That comment earned a head tilt from Ruddiger.

He hesitated.

“Don’t follow me,” he muttered before turning the knob to the door and heading out into the sunny mid-afternoon light.

Ruddiger sat stilled by the current events. Confused and concerned. Once everything was processed, he turned his gaze up to the opened window. He could surely hop out and meet up with the boy, but he didn’t. He sat glued to the ground just like Varian told him.

He would stay in that spot until Varian returned like he said he would. Even if it took forever, he wouldn’t move.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m also really sorry for the late chapter. Things have been hectic but I think everything’s slowly revolving back to ‘normal’ in my life haha. Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed! 💚


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shizz gets real in this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this a 2 am. Sorry I’m a lil’ late :)

“Varian?” The princess pounded on the wooden door for the third time without answer. Maybe he was sleeping? No,,, what kind of person sleep in the afternoon? Well, I guess it wouldn’t be to odd of a theory considering how horrible he looked lately- Ugh! Never mind that for now.

The blonde knocked again. She nervously fumbled with the picnic basket in her hands and dug blew the hair out of her eyes. After a few moments she sighed. Maybe she should go home…? Gosh, she didn’t know. She was about the turn around, when a detail caught her eye. The door was left cracked open.

Would she  _ really  _ invade someone’s privacy  _ just  _ to cease her curiosity?

...Yes. Of course she would.

She daintily pushes open the door letting the screech of the hinges announce her presence. “Varian?” She called again glancing around the house.

She was tempted to go further into the home but brushed it off. This felt wrong. Besides, it didn’t even look like Varian was home. She turned to make her exit until a low chittering noise grabbed her attention.

Her eyes flew to the ground and she smiled with relief, “Oh, Ruddiger! I certainly haven’t seen you in awhile.” She knelt down to pet the raccoon’s fur. “Do you know where Varian is?”

Ruddiger glanced up at the girl with sad eyes before looking back to the door. 

Rapunzel frowned trying to piece together a story. “So he definitely  _ is _ gone, right?” 

A small nod.

She looked around the barren hallway. It was so melancholy, so bleak and emotionless. The princess’ eyes met the raccoon’s again, “Can you lead me to him?”

The raccoon seemed to consider the request. He shifted on his hind legs in an uneasy way.  _ Stay here on the floor and wait for Varian to possibly never return, or disobey Varian and potentially save his life? _

…

Ruddiger agreed, getting up from his position on the floor to run around Rapunzel’s feet trying to stretch out his limbs.

Rapunzel smiled and did a little fist bump in the air. “Great! Now lead me to him!”

The raccoon practically pranced out the door. Rapunzel quickly followed suite as Ruddiger tried to pick up a scent.

…

“KYEAH!” 

Cassandra ran back and forth her training field doing everything from climbing walls to swinging her sword at false enemies. She eventually stopped in a frantic fashion after cutting the heads off of six dummies, taking a bow.

Eugene crossed his arms, “Wow Cass. Now maybe you can find someone who actually cares to watch your practice sessions.” He gave a mischievous smirk.

Cassandra frowned, “Oh, shut up Fitzherbert. You  _ wish  _ you could have a chance at learning half the things I know how to do.” She then perched herself on a nearby rock sharpening her sword.

“I highly doubt that,” her shot back.

Cassandra groaned, “ _ Why _ do you have to be like this? Can’t you pester someone else for a change?!”

“Nope, I’m happy right here CassÃndra,” he replied grinning.

The woman shut her eyes trying to block out Eugene. She took in the peacefulness of nature. Her shoes atop the grass and soil, the birds singing beautiful melodies beyond the treetops, th-

“Wanna hear a knock knock joke?”

Cassandra pulled at her hair and bared her teeth, “Does it LOOK like I want to hear one of your stupid knock knock jokes?!”

The man put his hands up in protest, “Nononono, you’re all wrong CassAndra! This is a very good knock knock joke, one of the best, infact. You see, this specific joke,,,”

He kept going on and on and on. And quite frankly, Cass was about to lose it. She tried to focus on nature again to calm herself from the man’s pointless babble. Ok, let’s see… her feet on the soil, the birds in the trees, the cloaked figure going by,,,

…

Hold up-

Cassandra clamped her hand on Eugene’s mouth, temporarily shutting him up. The figure's silhouette continued to slink on in the shadows of the forest. Her eyes followed the person for a while. From what she could tell, it was a kid. Maybe in their teens. Hair stripe?  _ Varian. _

Once the figure was out of eyesight her eyes met a very offended and confused looking Eugene. She removed her hand and winced at some of the slobber.

“Did you listen to  _ anything  _ I said?! What were you looking at?”

Cassandra bent down to pick up her sword and place it into its rightful scabbard. “I think it just saw Varian in the woods. He looked suspicious, now shut up and follow me.” The woman started to take off in the direction she had seen the kid.

Eugene hesitantly caught up to her, “Wait wait wait, that can’t be right.  _ Rapunzel’s  _ supposed to be having a little lunch chit-chat with him right now!”

“Well it looks like he had a little  _ errand  _ to run. Now follow me, and be  _ quiet.”  _

…

Varian looked hesitant at the forest around him. He’d been walking for a while now. Was it safe to stop? The last thing he wanted was for kids from the village to be fooling around and find his corpse somehow.

He shivered at the thought, taking a seat under a tall pine tree. He grabbed a lone stick by his side and started to make nonsense lines in the dirt by his boots.

Now what? Pfft, is that even a question? He knows what he’s here to do. But still he hesitates. He doesn’t  _ want  _ to die, per say. He’s just… tired. He doesn’t want to deal with all this stress. Dealing with Rapunzel, dealing with the thought of killing his own father, dealing with his loneliness. It was too much.

He leaned his head back on the bark behind him. He unbuckled the tatured baggy trench coat off of him and left it at his sides. He then reached into the pocket of the coat and brung out the chemical.

He admired it with dead eyes. How could something so small have such an effect to his life? Maybe if he hadn’t touched the rocks like his father said, he wouldn’t be in this mess. No… he  _ definitely  _ wouldn’t be in this mess. Why didn’t he just  _ listen?! _

He removed the cap to the mixture. 

This is crazy! He doesn’t even know what this will do to him. He’s wrong about so many things; what if it doesn’t kill him? What if it just hurts him, and he’s stuck there not all the way dead waiting for someone to either help him or finish him off.

He lifted to concoction up and tiled his head back.

What if his father eventually does get out and finds out he’s dead? He would have pushed Varian out of the black rocks way for nothing. His only child in death’s clutches. Oh man, Varian never even made him proud…

He can feel tears falling freely from his face. The birds chirps and the cicadas sounds all fade around him into one mess of strangled sound. 

He put his lips up to the beaker’s opening.

This is it. He’s doing it. He’s going through with it. Goodbye Dad, goodbye Ruddiger.

.

.

.

Time seemed to slow down. One moment he’s about to chug some alchemy sauce, the next he’s being tackled to the ground.

He lands with a thump and when he opens his eyes he’s met with a broken beaker and spilled chemicals sinking into the soil around him.

He covers his mouth in shock trying to process what was happening. He feels someone lift him to his feet and shake him by the shoulders. They’re saying something, but he can’t hear them because of his heartbeat blaring in his ears. There’s two of them? Three? But he can’t see them. He’s lost in complete and total shock. 

He didn’t know what to do, so he did the only thing he could in the moment. He dropped to his knees and sobbed.

…

Cassandra snapped her fingers, “Come  _ on,  _ kid! Snap out of it already.” She had no idea how to comfort a kid! Comfort people at all really…

“Eugene! Help me out here!” She called patting the back of Varian’s sobbing form. 

Eugene stood perplexed at the events happening before him before approaching the pair and trying to calm down the boy as well. 

“You know who I wish was here? Rapunzel. She always knows how to-“

Suddenly there was brief ruffling in the forest brush, before Rapunzel appeared alongside Ruddiger with her hands on her hips. “We are here! Great job Ruddiger.” She exclaimed with a smile before laying eyes on the scene before her. Her smile faltered. “What’s going on?”

“Well the kid was about to drink some science thingy when we found him,” she gestured to the broken glass upon the forest floor, “I didn’t know what it did so…”

Rapunzel nodded.

Eugene spoke up, “Now we’re just trying to calm him down. He’s having a breakdown a-“

“Shshsh…” Rapunzel said quietly, approaching the boy. Eugene and Cass shared a glance before inching away.

Rapunzel sat down beside Varian and tried to brush aside his tears. She cupped his face in her hands and tried to speak to him, “Varain… it’s ok. You don’t need to be scared right now. You can just relax. Nothing you fear can get to you right now.”

Ruddiger presses his snout into the boy's clothes fabric. He then proceeded to climb up the boy's clothes onto his stomach in means of affection.

Rapunzel dipped her head down to look at her hands guilty, “I’m so sorry… for everything, Varian. I’ve been a horrible friend. And even after everything I did to you, I thought we could just go back to normal and be friends like nothing happened. I guess it doesn’t work like that... right?”

Varian’s breathing slowed slightly. He tried to take in breaths of air, but every breath felt like he was choking. Sucking in  _ glass.  _ He needed to breathe… to calm down.

“I know it’s a little late to say this, but I care about you  _ so  _ so much. And I want to see all the great things you’ll do in life.”

The boy kept his gaze at the moss below him.

“I want to listen. I want to earn your trust back and help. You can tell me  _ anything. _ ”

There was a long pause. A pause so long that you would think Varian had forgotten how to speak. But after a while… he nodded a small nod. “Anything?”

She smiled warmly at him, “anything.”

He tried to reposition himself, still regaining his bearings, “Then I shall tell you anything  _ and  _ everything.”

She beamed, holding his hands in hers ready to listen to every word.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know whether to add another chapter or not... it was originally just up to here, but I’ll see how I’m feeling by Thursday to make it official or not.

**Author's Note:**

> Whew, I’m hoping to make these chapters at least 1,000 words or longer. I also wanted to let you guys know that I already have these chapters written and in my files waiting to be uploaded! I’ll be uploading every Tuesday and Thursday! :)


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